


Expectations

by MagnusLightwoodAlecBane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fuckbuddies, Idiots in Love, Is that a thing, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Texting, Tumblr Prompt, fuckbuddies to friends (with benefits) to lovers, im making it a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-02 17:18:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18815464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusLightwoodAlecBane/pseuds/MagnusLightwoodAlecBane
Summary: Magnus let out a sigh as he woke up. Alone. Again. Alec had already left apparently. He knew he shouldn’t have expected anything else, but part of him had wanted him to stay. He knew what he’d gotten into. Just casual. And it was good. Really good, Magnus thought as he remembered the night before.Or, a fuckbuddies AU with an ounce of mutual pining, too much alcohol, a spoonful of bad humor and a pinch of Matt Daddario.





	Expectations

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by [yoimwriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoimwriting/pseuds/yoimwriting): _I was thinking about a love drunk confession with the "I love you with my whole ass-heart" from that interview with Matt. Unrequited love (OR IS IT) to spice things up with a side of comedy. Go crazy._
> 
> Hon. I _went_ crazy. This fic got out of hand really fast. I planned on writing 3k or something and then this happened. Send help. 
> 
> I will forever be grateful for the two people that put up with me during the writing process, read through the fic multiple times and corrected my mistakes. Thank you [Sarah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaranelStuff/pseuds/SaranelStuff) and [Emily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemily/pseuds/thatnerdemily).

A few days ago, a close friend of Magnus had lost a bet to him. The stakes were that the loser would buy the winner drinks for an entire evening. Magnus knew that he would win and he also knew Maia’s competitive spirit couldn’t resist to play. Which is how Magnus, Cat and Ragnor ended up in the Hunter’s Moon, Maia at the bar, buying _and making_ all of Magnus’ drinks. No one could wipe the smug grin off of Magnus’ face even if they tried.

A couple of drinks in and the friends were pleasantly buzzed. Magnus was just about to shout at Maia to get a refill when he saw she was already serving someone else. And damn was that someone. Magnus was entranced by the beauty that sat on the barstool. Of course, Cat noticed him staring and encouraged him to go up there.

It wasn’t what he had expected of the friends-night-out, but he wouldn’t turn down this chance at a good time. As he made his way up to the bar, he saw Maia say something after which the black-haired adonis turned around.

“Well hello,” said Tall Dark and Handsome, “I hear you’ve been looking at me from over there at your table for a while.”

Maia returned the look of betrayal Magnus gave her with a wink. “Did you like what you saw?” The man continued.

Magnus definitely needed to up his game. This one was handsome, confident and not afraid of flirting apparently.

“I was simply trying to remember."

The black haired beauty frowned. “Remember?”

“Yes. I thought I knew the names of every Greek God, but I must have missed one, cause I don’t seem to recall knowing yours.” Magnus winked.

A smirk crept its way up to the cheeks of the other man. “Smooth.” He said. “I’m Alec.”

Needless to say an hour later they ended up making out in the alley around back, then in a cab, and finally in Magnus’ apartment. Magnus made good use of Alec’s name. It was one of the best one-night-stands he’d ever had.

Alec had left before Magnus had woken up, but he had left a note. _I don’t know if your other Greek Gods have phones, but I do. If you ever want to repeat this, you know what to do ;) -A_  
Followed by a number and an arrow pointing to the back. Magnus turned the note around.  
_PS: A stands for Alec, not Apollo._

Magnus had used the number sooner than he would like to admit.

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 10:35 am]**

I thought A was for Aphrodite.

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 10:38 am]**

Disappointed?

  
**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 10:39 am]**

Depends…

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 10:40 am]**

Want to come over tonight and prove you’re better than the goddess of pleasure herself?

 

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 10:43 am]**

Hmm. Considering the sounds you made last night, I think I already have. 

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 10:44 am]**

How does 9pm sound?

 

Alec definitely proved himself that night - holy crap, Magnus still felt him - and they agreed to simply call each other when they needed some relief. The first few times were heavenly. Magnus had a stressful day at work? Alec fucked him through it. Alec’s family dinner left him all frustrated and angry? Magnus took care of him. It was the best idea they ever had.

 

* * *

 

Friday came around and it was time for movie night. A bi-weekly thing Magnus and his friends did where they came together, watched movies or series, ordered take-out and played drinking games. Every time they did this, they fought about who should organize it. Five people mixed with alcohol and take-out equals a mess to clean up. And cleaning with a hangover? No thanks. Alas, Magnus had lost a bet to Maia this time. The stakes were organizing movie night. He would never have agreed to it if he hadn’t been so confident he would win. In hindsight, tequila _was_ his weakness and he should have known a professional bartender like Maia would one-up him in taking as many shots as they could. 

Maia brought her girlfriend Becky. Cat, Ragnor and Raphael were there too and Magnus was having a good time. Becky really fitted in. She had this nerdy side that was simply adorable. Maia agreed to that, seeing how she looked at Becky whenever she got into one of her theories. They watched a couple of episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine and Becky started comparing them to the characters. Magnus smiled at how happy Maia looked when watching her girlfriend gush about who in their friend group was most like Captain Holt.

Magnus zoned out when Becky started her rant about him being Jake. He was too busy wondering if that made Alec his Amy. Alec liked organizing, was funny without trying, was cute but bossy… And he looked damn good in a suit. Magnus had found that out when Alec had a meeting at work that got out of hand when he talked back to his homophobic colleague. He came over to Magnus’ straight from work to relieve the stress. The suit had stayed on that night. Alec needed some sense of authority anyway and Magnus, well, he was weak for a handsome man in a suit.

“Who’s Simon?” Raphael, who had been silent the whole time, interrupted Magnus’ train of thought.

“An even bigger nerd than this cutie over here.” Maia said affectionately.

Becky blushed. “It’s in the family,” she explained, “he’s my little brother.”

“I have a feeling I do not want to be anywhere near this kid when doing movie night.” Raphael grumbled.

“That, my dear friend,” Maia commented, “is one accurate observation.”

“Hey!” Rebecca protested, hitting her girlfriend in the arm. Maia pulled a face and tried to hit back with a pillow, but Becky dodged and the pillow landed on Magnus.

“Oh it’s on!”

A couple of pillows in the face and just as many drinks later and Maia and Becky decided to go home. Raphael had already left in the middle of the pillow fight, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like “fucking toddlers these people”. Even though he was equally grumpy every two weeks, the rest of the group knew Raphael loved them. He would never admit it, but he was actually a softie.

After everyone said their goodbyes - and promptly ignored Magnus’ _very_ subtle “go get some Maia!” - Cat and Magnus lied down on the carpet, blankets tangled between their legs, smiles still glowing on their faces.

“You know,” Cat started. “You never told me about what happened at the Hunter’s Moon with that handsome man last week.”

“Alexander? Yes. Very handsome. Good kisser too. Good at a lot of other things as well.”

“Oh is he?"

“What can I say. It's not my fault I'm so attractive every man wants to fall on his knees before me.”

Cat rolled her eyes fondly. "Magnus Bane, you are incorrigible.” 

After two more glasses of wine and talking about everything and nothing, Magnus noticed Cat started to fall asleep. He carried her to the couch, put a blanket over her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight my dear, thank you for tonight.”  
“G’night Magnus.”

Magnus went into his bedroom and got ready for bed. The wine had really kicked in now and he did not want to go to sleep yet. He pulled up his conversation with Alec. During movie night, Alec had sent him a text.

 

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 8:13 pm]**

Saw this little one when I passed by the shelter. Made me think of you.

 

It was a black one. The animal looked adorable but there was intelligence in its eyes. It also looked playful and mischievous.

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:04 am]**

People always think of black cats as bad luck and they don’t trust them. Should I be offended you immediately sent that to me? Are you saying I’m bad luck?

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:05 am]**

Did you know people are less likely to adopt black cats because of that? I think it’s sad cause black cats have hearts too you know. They’re just as sweet. No one ever gives them a chance. They think of them as the pet of a witch.

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:06 am]**

And you know what, I wouldn’t care if I got a cat and it turned out to be the pet of a witch! How cool is it to have a magical cat! I want a magical cat!

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:07 am]**

Alexanderrrrrr, are you saying I'm a magical cat? 😏

 

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 02:08 am]**

So this is why people don’t forget to put their phone on silent at night.  
I take it movie night went well?

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:09 am]**

Well you should be awake, this is a very important issue here.  
And don’t change the subject!

 

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 02:10 am]**

You’re right. Very important.  
Also, yes. I did compare you to a magical cat.  
You are very magical. And very cat-like. 😉

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:12 am]**

I knew it! But seriously though. I feel bad for the kitty.  
Chairman Meow deserves someone to take care of him.

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 02:13 am]**

Did you… name the cat already?

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:12 am]**

… No.

 

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 02:13 am]**

It’s cute 😉. I like it.

  
**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:15 am]**

Alexander?

  
**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 02:15 am]**

Yes, dear? 

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 02:21 am]**

Magnus?

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:23 am]**

Would you like to go with me to go adopt the Chairman?  
Tomorrow? Maybe? If that’s okay?

 

**[To: Abs as Smooth as his flirting, 02:24 am]**

I would love to. I’ll pick you up at 10?  
Now go to sleep, sweetheart. Dream of Chairman Meow.  
Goodnight.

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:25 am]**

Okay! See you then!  
Sweet dreams Alexander. You dream of magical cats :)

 

* * *

 

Magnus woke up by someone shaking his shoulder. “Wh- what?” He asked confused.

“You have a guest”

“Well make them go away.” Magnus complained while fighting to get back under the warm sheets.

“Magnus”, Cat sighed, “it’s that guy from the bar from last week.”

“Your date.” She teased.

“Date? I don’t have a date? I did dream I’d meet up with Alexander for buying a cat or something…?”

Cat glared at him.

“I didn’t dream that did I?”

He was met with another glare.

“Shit! What time is it?” He searched for his phone. 10:03 am.

Shit. “Cat, please please please do me this huge favor and stall him for 15 minutes?” Magnus begged.

“Hon, we both know you’re going to take much longer than that.” She replied amused.

Magnus was already off to the bathroom.

He still needed to brush his teeth, shower, do his makeup, get dressed... How is he supposed to do all that when Alec already here? He needed to get up right away! What to wear?

Why did he care so much? He wasn’t supposed to care this much, was he? It wasn’t a date?

It was just two friends. Who also happened to hook up. Going out. Alone. To go adopt a cat together. Nope, not a date.

Magnus was internally freaking out while brushing his teeth. There’s no way he would let Alec see him without makeup or in sweatpants and a tank top. Twenty minutes later, half an hour too late, Magnus came out of his bedroom.

And walked in the living room to see Alec throwing his head back laughing. What in hell was going on here?

“... and then we had to carry him back home because he was too busy being terrified of that squirrel.” Magnus heard Cat say.

He huffed and two pairs of eyes focused on him. Cat, ever the traitor, smiled smugly. “Did you sleep well?” She asked. "Had any weird dreams, maybe?"

Magnus pulled a face at her. “Ha-ha.” He turned to Alec.

“I’ll have you know, that squirrel was not normal. He was possessed by a demon and you’re all fools for not realizing it.”

“I’m sure you’re right, Magnus”, Alec chuckled.

Magnus rolled his eyes and grabbed Alec’s hand.

“Let’s get out of here before Cat decides she hasn’t embarrassed me enough.”

He pulled Alec out the door and closed it after him.

Disaster averted.

Magnus broke out in a rant. "Everything she told you is a lie. I made a mistake letting her keep you company, I should have just let you wait on your own. You're a big guy, you can handle it."

He stopped when he noticed Alec staring at him, a goofy smile playing on his lips.

“What?”

“Do you like my hand so much you want to keep it?” He said sneakily.

Magnus felt his cheeks starting to heat up and quickly let go of the other man's hand. “Sorry.”

“Come on, sweetheart, we have a cat to rescue.”

“Y-yeah okay.” Magnus was stunned by the casual use of the pet name. Alec had used it over text before, but that’s different. It made him feel warm and safe.

 

The walk to the shelter took them about twenty minutes. It was awkward at first, they both didn't know what to do or say. Which made sense, considering the longest conversation they had - aside from texting or the one at the bar when they met - was flirting or moaning each other's names. How do you make normal conversation with someone you only meet up with to have sex?

"So. Um." Alec broke the silence. "What did you watch yesterday?"

Okay, good start. Neutral subject, Magnus could work with that.

Five minutes later the conversation flew easily and every ounce of awkwardness between them had disappeared.

When they arrived, someone spoke from behind the counter. She was bending over to grab some boxes, so Magnus could only see the top of her head. “I’ll be right over, just a second!”

Her red curls bounced as she stood up again. She looked at them for the first time since they came in and her eyes went wide. Magnus shot a confused look at Alec who had a mysterious smirk on his face. Why was he-

“You came back!” Redhead yelled. “And you brought someone.”

She practically dropped the boxes and fast-walked over to them. Alec threw her an offended look when she hit him in the arm.

“You didn’t say he was this pretty!” She continued excitedly.

Alec tried to shut her up with a stern look but the redhead ignored him.

She turned to Magnus. “Hi! I’m Clary.”

“Um. Hi?” Magnus was confused. “You two know each other?”

“Alec volunteers here! He didn’t tell you that?” Redh- Clary answered.

Magnus turned to face him. “Oh really now? I thought you just ‘passed by’ when you sent me that picture.”

"I- Uh- I didn't want to brag, I guess?" Alec sheepishly said.

"Wait." Magnus said seriously.

"What is it? Are you mad at me? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied, I-"

He stopped trying to explain himself when he saw the amused smirk Magnus had on his face.

"Are you messing with me?" Alec asked in disbelief.

"Well, kind of, you should have seen your face, you can't blame me!" Magnus retorted at Alec's offended expression.

"Anyway." Alec turned to Clary. "Magnus wants to meet some of the kittens, do you have time for us?"

"Of course!"  

 

About an hour or two and some paperwork later, Magnus and Alec were walking back to the loft, Magnus carrying a pet carrier.

“Chairman Meow. You’re too adorable and I love you so much. You have stolen my heart little one.” Magnus cooed.

Alec looked at him fondly.

“You know,” Magnus turned to look at Alec, “I wanted to thank you for sending that picture and then coming with me today.”

“What are friends for.”

“We’re friends then?”

“Why yes, the word ‘buddy’ is in fuckbuddy, so that must mean we’re friends.” Alec tried to keep a straight face.

Magnus threw him a sharp look. “Watch your language around the baby!” He hissed.

Alec burst out laughing, throwing his head back as tears rolled off of his cheeks.

Magnus forgot about protecting his baby’s ears from bad language for a second. Too busy staring at Alec’s neck, imagining to lick and nip it right there, right then. Alec’s smile stayed on his face when he recovered from his fits of laughter.

Magnus couldn’t help but smile back at him.

There they were, two idiots smiling goofily at each other in the middle of the street while holding a cat carrier.

“I- uh. We should.” Alec stuttered.

Right. They should probably head back to the loft. After composing himself again, Magnus stated, “You know, friends with benefits is just as applicable to what we’re doing and much safer for innocent ears.”

He looked up to see Alec with a smug look on his face.

“Now what?” Magnus wondered.

“Well, I’d very much like to know just how many benefits I would get out of this friendship.”

The walk back didn’t take as long as it should’ve.

 

* * *

 

Magnus let out a sigh as he woke up. Alone. Again. Alec had already left apparently. He knew he shouldn’t have expected anything else, but part of him had wanted him to stay. He knew what he’d gotten into. Just casual. And it was good. Really good, Magnus thought as he remembered the night before. And the one before that. And before that. They had both memorized the areas of their bodies that were most sensitive which resulted in some seriously good sex.

One night stands could be amazing, but sex with a partner that knew your body, was incomparable. Magnus hadn’t only gotten to know Alec’s body, he’d gotten to know his personality, too. They grew closer to each other to the point where there wasn’t a day they didn’t talk. Sometimes it was simply to ask when and where their next hookup would be, other times it was just flirty banter. Magnus smiled as he pulled up their conversation from the day before.

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:23 pm]**

I changed your name in my phone.

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0,  2:25 pm]**

Oh? Why is that? My abs aren’t smooth anymore?

Or is it my flirting? Should I be concerned?

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:26 pm]**

Don’t worry, your abs and flirting are fine. 😉

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:27 pm]**

FINE? Oh my, Alexander, you should’ve told me it was that bad.

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:30 pm]**

Ha. Ha. Very funny.

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:31 pm]**

I’m not laughing. This is serious business.

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:32 pm]**

Right. Of course, how could I not have known that.

My dearest Magnus Bane, your  flirting is as on point as a freshly sharpened pencil.

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:36 pm]**

And?

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:36 pm]**

Your abs are very lickable.

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:37 pm]**

Alexander!

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:37 pm]**

What? You asked. 😏

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:37 pm]**

Wait… How did you know what my contact name for you was?

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:39 pm]**

Remember that night you lost your phone and I called it to find it?

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:40 pm]**

Ohhh okay yes that makes sense.

What’s my contact name?

 

**[To: Greek God of pleasure 2.0, 02:41 pm]**

Well, I feel the sudden need to change yours as well, now.

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:43 pm]**

What is it? And what *was* it?

 

**[To: He puts the “buddy” in fuckbuddy, 02:44 pm]**

It was Greek God of pleasure 2.0.

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:45 pm]**

I am... Definitely NOT offended you changed that.

Nope. Not at all.

What did you change it to anyway?

 

**[To: He puts the “buddy” in fuckbuddy, 02:46 pm]**

Don’t be, you’re still very much the Greek God you were when I met you.

Now you’re just the one that puts “buddy” in fuckbuddy. 😉

 

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:48 pm]**

Oh. So it’s like that, huh.

You want me to put the buddy in my fuckbuddy? 😏

 

**[To: He puts the “buddy” in fuckbuddy, 02:49 pm]**

That was the worst one yet.

**[To: He puts the “buddy” in fuckbuddy, 02:51 pm]**

But yeah, come over and do that.

**[To: Benefits (and also a friend),  2:53 pm]**

I’ll be there in 20.

 

It felt as if they’d known each other for months, when in reality it was only weeks. Alec had been right, they’d definitely become friends in the past couple of days. Magnus had been afraid that friendship would complicate things between them, but it actually made them easier. They’d gotten so comfortable around each other that there was no shame between them at all. When one of them wanted something, they’d just ask for it.

Magnus hadn’t always been like that. The first few times they slept together, he hadn’t dared to ask. For more, for harder, rougher. He was embarrassed to. But now that he had seen Alec wouldn’t judge him, that he would take care of him, he didn’t hesitate anymore.

They trusted each other.

Their friendship also meant they could laugh when things went wrong during sex, situations that would be awkward for anyone else weren’t for them. Which is why Magnus was a little disappointed Alec disappeared every night. He thought they had come to the stage where they could at least have breakfast together. Their trip to the shelter proved that they could have normal, non-sexual conversations without awkward silences. Magnus put away his phone and got out of bed.

 

The second he opened his bedroom door, a tiny black ball of fur jumped at his legs. “Chairman!” Magnus exclaimed. “What’s gotten you so excited? Are you this happy to see me?” He picked up the kitten and held it to his chest. Chairman purred when his little head was peppered with kisses. “I should leave my door open, shouldn’t I? You miss me too much when I’m in there.” The Chairman seemed to agree as he purred louder.

 

* * *

 

Magnus let out a hiss when his back collided with the wall. He’d rather not start tonight with a concussion. He was way too horny to end up in the hospital.

“Sorry.” Alec winced.

“Shut up and kiss me.” Magnus retorted impatiently. He pulled Alec closer by his belt loops.

“So demanding, I don’t know if I like that.” _Oh._ His hands traveled under Magnus’ shirt, sliding over his abs.

“Off, take it off, please.” Magnus whined.

“Now that’s more like it.” Alec obliged and ran his tongue over the spots his hands had just been, then moved over to his nipple.

That felt so _good_. Every stimulation on his nipples went straight to his cock, Alec knew that. Magnus knew that Alec knew. He was glad Alec took advantage of this knowledge. Magnus threw his head back, moaning.

Alec stopped abusing his nipple and lifted his head to lick a stripe along Magnus’ exposed neck. Bedroom, was all Magnus could think about. He would more than happily stay here against the wall, but truth be told it wasn’t very comfortable.

Magnus slung his legs around Alec’s waist and grinded forward, hoping that would convey the message.

“Hmm the things you do to me.” Alec groaned.

“The feeling is mutual.” Magnus panted.

Alec grabbed Magnus’ ass and carried him to the bedroom, never stopping his assault on Magnus’ neck. Because he didn’t look up, he didn’t see the door was closed, so Magnus’ back was once again slammed against a hard surface. “Alec, honey, please be careful and watch where you’re going.” Magnus chuckled, a little out of breath.

“This is all your fault. You’re way too distracting.” Alec paused. “And hot. _Damn_ you’re hot.”

Once they made it inside safely, Alec all but threw Magnus on the bed and snickered when the other man yelped.

“What are you waiting for?” Magnus tried to sound composed, when in fact he was not. Not at all. He was actually pretty proud of himself for being able to form sentences. The sole purpose of that was provoking Alec to let him show his dominant side.

“Not done being demanding, I see?” Alec answered. “What should I do about that?”

_Mission accomplished._

 

Alec crawled over him, pushing his groin against Magnus’, effectively coaxing a moan out of him. Magnus loved this. He loved giving up control and letting his partner decide when and how to pleasure him.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” Magnus whimpered at the pet name. What did he want? His jeans were starting to become uncomfortably tight now, but he also wanted some intimacy. Damn it, Alec had successfully shut down his brain. He saw Alec raise an eyebrow, waiting for his answer. Magnus studied his face. His eyes fell on the plump, red lips. He knew what he wanted.

“Kiss me, please.”

“Since you asked so nicely.” Alec bent his head down to kiss him. Magnus felt his tongue seeking entrance. He groaned and bucked his hips, which only resulted in Alec pushing him down again. “Patience, dear.”

Alec left a trail of kisses from the corner of his mouth down to his neck, shoulders, collarbone, where he paused to suck and nibble a mark. They’d discussed it before and Magnus didn’t mind Alec marking him, as long as it was in places that couldn’t be seen when he was properly dressed. Alec continued his work from before on Magnus’ nipple, which made the other man squirm beneath him. “I love how sensitive you are here.” Alec teased and continued to leave kisses across Magnus’ chest and abs. Magnus revelled in the teasing sensation. He wanted _more_. And he wanted it now.

“Please, stop teasing.” He begged.

“Good things come to those who wait.” Alec said, arrogant smirk on his face.

Magnus thanked every holy being on earth when Alec unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his gorgeous chest. Alec’s hands roamed over Magnus’ thighs. He slowly opened the zipper and slid down his pants. “Lift your hips for me, dear.” After he’d rid them both of their pants, Alec crawled back on top of Magnus. He mouthed at his cock through his boxers, reducing Magnus to a moaning mess.

“Alexander, please.” Magnus huffed. “Suck me.”

Apparently Alec wasn't as unaffected as it seemed, because as soon as those words fell from Magnus’ lips, Alec lost all control. Not twenty seconds later they were both naked, Alec’s mouth was wrapped around his cock and Magnus forgot how to think.

He slid his hands through Alec’s hair, pushing his head down further. Magnus had discovered very early in their arrangement that Alec loved being almost choked by his dick, so of course he would take advantage of that. Alec rolled his tongue over the head of his cock, looking Magnus seductively in the eye. Magnus groaned at the feeling and threw his head back. The sensation stopped. Alec had completely let go of his cock. Confused, Magnus lifted his head to look at Alec and ask why he stopped. As soon as they made eye-contact, Alec resumed his licking and sucking. _Oh shit._

Magnus closed his eyes at the feeling. Alec stopped again. “N-no! Please!” He whined in desperation.

“You know it’s only polite to look someone in the eye, dearest. Look at me.” Alec ordered.

Magnus complied. Apparently Alec thought he deserved a reward for that, because he coated his fingers with lube - where had he gotten that from? - and teased his finger at Magnus’ rim. He took Magnus’ cock back in his mouth and slid all the way down while pushing his finger in Magnus’ hole.

The combined feeling of pleasure made Magnus tug at Alec's hair, begging him to stop. He didn’t want it to be over too soon and if Alec would continue like this, he wouldn’t be able to last long.

“I want you.” Alec growled.

“Then take me.”

The only answer Magnus received was a mix between a moan and a grunt. Alec continued pushing his finger in and out of Magnus, who soon asked for more. His long fingers slid along Magnus’ walls. He crooked his fingers and brushed along Magnus’ prostate.

And oh, that felt amazing.

“Please, Alexander, I’m ready.” Magnus exclaimed. “I need you!”

Alec slipped his fingers out and guided his cock towards Magnus’ rim. Magnus felt like he would die from anticipation. Alec gave him another passionate kiss and pushed into him. “Alexander.” Magnus sighed against his lips.

Alec pulled back out oh so slowly, his cock dragging against Magnus’ walls, before forcefully pushing back in, hitting his prostate. The stimulation became too much and Magnus whimpered, hands roaming over Alec’s back, searching for something to hold onto.

“I’ve got you.” Said Alec soothingly. He took Magnus in his hand and started stroking him. The pleasure was overwhelming.

The room filled up with shouts of their names and the sound of skin slapping against skin.

A few more well-aimed thrusts and Magnus couldn’t think anymore. All he could do was moan, beg and feel. His rim clenched around Alec’s cock.

“Ah! Alexan-” He tried.

“Shhh, I know, beautiful.” Alec swiped his thumb over the head of Magnus’ cock, coaxing another delicious moan out of him. “Come for me, baby.” He said with the softest voice.

That, and another push against his prostate finally flinged Magnus over the edge.

Alec stroked him through while still pushing into him. It wasn’t long until he released inside Magnus, coating his walls with come.

Magnus hissed as Alec pulled out.

“Sorry” Alec winced.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

 

* * *

 

Magnus had already fallen asleep when Alec had cleaned them both up, gathered his clothes and left. About an hour later, a loud knock woke him up.

“Magnus!”

A voice shouted from the other side of the door. What in hell was _he_ doing here? Magnus quickly got up, put on his robe and went to open the door to greet Alec.

“Why-” He began to ask.

“I came home and realized I forgot my keys and seeing the time, I couldn’t exactly ring the doorbell, my neighbors would be pissed. So I came back to get them. Sorry I woke you.”

Alec rambled adorably before Magnus could say anything else.

“Well, come in then.” Magnus smiled.

Alec slipped past Magnus and went inside the bedroom. Thirty seconds later he came out, keys jingling in his hand.

“Found them.” He grinned. “They must’ve slipped out of my pants when you were so eager to get them off.”

“Funny. I remember that differently. Weren’t you the impatient one?” Magnus asked innocently.

He was met with a look. “I should go.” Alec said as he turned to leave.

“Stay!” Magnus blurted out, a blush creeping up to his cheeks.  “I mean-” He hesitated. “Yeah. That- That’s what I meant.”

He fully expected Alec to turn down the offer. That they were friends didn’t necessarily mean he would spend the night. Magnus told himself he only offered because it was the logical option. Otherwise Alec would have to go home at three am and it would be very late and it just made more sense for him to stay. Yes, that’s why. No other reasons involved.

“Okay.” Alec answered surprisingly.

 

* * *

 

Magnus felt like he was floating. He felt safe and secure in his little bubble. A warm hand was caressing his otherwise cold back. So Alec was a blanket hogger then? Why did this little fact make his chest tighten and his skin tingle?

“We should’ve done this much earlier.” Alec’s voice sounded gruff in the otherwise silent room. Magnus was too much in a bliss to reply with anything other than a hum.

“I have to go to work soon.”

 _Aaaaaand_ that burst his bubble. Magnus tried his best to seem unfazed by the Alec’s sudden desire to leave.

“Just five more minutes?” He had to try, he really didn't want this to be over yet.

Alec let out a sigh. “Of course.”

Magnus almost squealed of happiness.

“And can you play with my hair?” He asked in the shyest voice.

He didn’t get a reply and he was afraid he’d overstepped. Hooking up was acceptable, but cuddling was on a whole other level. He was just about to brush it off as a joke when Alec’s hand found its way into his hair. Hmm that felt amazing. Magnus had always been one for cuddling. He needed physical affection. He often sat in Catarina’s lap, gave hugs to all his friends - yes, even Raphael - and loved it when people played with his hair, like Alec was doing right now. It gave him a sense of security. Someone who didn’t appreciate him for his personality wouldn’t treat him so lovingly. He was glad Alec felt comfortable doing this.

 

Magnus slung his leg over Alec’s and snuggled closer to him. He felt Alec’s chest shaking when the man snickered.

“You’re an affectionate one, aren’t you?” He teased.

Magnus tensed. Had he been wrong about Alec? Was Alec going to shame him for this?

Alec must have felt his panic, because he quickly continued, “Not that that’s a bad thing! I mean- I- I like it. I’m not used to doing this, but I really like it.”

Magnus ducked his head into Alec’s shoulder to hide the blush that had risen up to his cheeks. It didn’t take long for Magnus to doze off again. He was just _so comfortable_. He felt like he could stay here forever. Until his pillow moved. “Nooooo” he whined.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to be late to work, and we still need to have breakfast.” Alec reasoned.

“I don’t want to get up.” Magnus complained.

“Then don’t.” Alec got up from the bed and searched for his boxers and shirt. “I’ll make you something too, I’ll wake you up when it’s done.”

“Mkay” Magnus was cold suddenly, so he rolled over to Alec’s side of the bed, which was warm and comfy. His movement made the blankets wrap around him until he looked like one giant adorable burrito. Why hadn’t Alec left the room yet? Magnus wondered. He opened his eyes to see Alec staring at him, unreadable expression on his face. His _beautiful_ face.

“You know,” Magnus said, teasing grin fighting its way through the serious façade he tried to keep up, “that breakfast isn’t going to make itself.”

That seemed to push Alec out of his daze.

“Right. Yeah, I’ll- I’m gonna-” He pointed towards the kitchen.

“You do that.” Magnus winked.

After Alec had composed himself again, he came closer to Magnus and gave him a sweet kiss on his forehead. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart.”

Magnus’ heart fluttered. Wow. That was new.

As soon as Alec left, Magnus let his head drop back onto the covers. That man was going to be the death of him.

 

He had just dozed off when the smell of fresh pancakes woke him. Wait. Alec made _pancakes_? Magnus quickly got out of bed and followed the sweet promise of an amazing morning. Alec was a vision. Standing there in the kitchen, in his shirt and boxers and Magnus’ apron, flipping pancakes as if he were a professional. Magnus walked up and sneaked his arms around Alec’s waist. He tucked his face in the back of his neck. How did he smell so nice in the morning without even showering?

“You know you didn’t have to do all this, right?” Magnus whispered. Careful not to break the comfortable silence that hung around them.

“I wanted to.”

 

* * *

 

After they finished eating, Alec stood up to do the dishes. Magnus couldn’t convince him it was okay to let him do the dishes, so they ended up doing them together. Alec washed them, Magnus dried and put them away. They moved past each other easily, their chemistry helping them in working together efficiently. Magnus tried not to think of how domestic it all felt.

Magnus tried to find the words he wanted to tell Alec. He had thought about this ever since Alec was knocking at his door the night before. How long had he stood there anyway? He must have been knocking for a while, since Magnus was already fast asleep when he came back. They could easily avoid that. Alec could just sleep at the loft every time he came over.

But how did he tell him that? He didn’t want to seem too clingy.

Alec noticed his internal struggle. He came over to Magnus and cupped his face in his hands. He stroked his finger over Magnus’ forehead.

“What’s with the frown?”

Magnus scrambled his thoughts back together in a hopeless attempt to form a decent sentence. Okay, now or never.

“You can sleep here you know.” Is what came out.

“I believe I just did.”

“Yes!” Magnus said, volume too high for the conversation they were having. He flinched. “But, you know, other times when you come over. Then you can stay the night as well. If you want to. I mean, you don’t have to-”

Alec shut him up by pressing a kiss to his lips. Magnus had a dazed expression when they parted.

“I would love to, sweetheart.”

Why did he get the sudden feeling to do a happy dance?

“I also wanted to apologize for letting you wait at the door.” He said, when suddenly remembering his thoughts from before.

“That’s okay, I wasn’t there long. I closed the door behind me and made sure it was locked and I knew you were asleep. It’s only normal it took a while.”

“I could give you a key.” Whoa. He had _not_ planned on saying that.

Alec looked as baffled as Magnus felt.

“Then you could come in after work without having to wait at home? You’re always welcome here, you know that by now.” Magnus tried to explain, both to Alec and himself.

He didn’t dare to look Alec in the eye. He had most certainly overstepped this time. He should’ve just kept quiet.

“Stop frowning, you’ll get wrinkles.” Alec kissed him on the forehead. Huh. Maybe he hadn’t overstepped?

Alec confirmed this when he said he’d be honored to have a key to Magnus’ home.

Magnus kissed him in response, and if Alec was late for work because they were too busy making out, no one could prove it.

 

* * *

 

“Fuck!” Magnus exclaimed as he slammed the door closed. His stupid colleagues couldn’t do one _fucking_ thing right, could they? He had needed to stay at work until 10 pm to fix some dumb mistake one of his colleagues made. Something he had _warned_ them for. Something he had repeatedly told them not to do because it would be almost impossible to fix.

Why didn’t they fucking _listen_?!

The fact that they made the mistake wasn’t even the worst part. But they just had to screw up right before 5 pm. Right before Magnus was done working for the day.

Magnus was so damn furious. He had wanted to leave early today to take a nice relaxing bath and finally get back to that book he never had time to read. It felt like he hadn’t relaxed or slowed down in months. He’d looked forward to his nice and quiet evening _so much_ and then they had to ruin it.

“God fucking DAMN IT!” He screamed and flopped down on the couch, barely missing Chairman Meow, who jumped up and fled the room as fast as possible.

He needed someone to distract him, before he permanently scared the Chairman away.

 

**[To: Blanket hogging softie, 11:34 pm]**

Alexander? Are you awake?

 

**[To: Even cuter than his cat, 11:35 pm]**

I am now ;)

 

Magnus immediately felt guilty. He didn’t need to burden Alec with this. Alec couldn’t help him. He would probably suggest some “relief”. Magnus didn’t need that right now. Even though he was angry, he wasn’t in the mood for sex. He just needed to relax. He picked up his phone again.

 

**[To: Blanket hogging softie, 11:36 pm]**

Sorry I woke you.

 

**[To: Even cuter than his cat,  11:36 pm]**

Is something wrong?

 

**[To: Blanket hogging softie, 11:38 pm]**

I’m fine, don’t worry. Go back to sleep :)

 

He added the emoji in hopes Alec would believe him. He did the right thing not bothering him with this. After putting his phone on silent, he went into the bathroom to take off his makeup and shower. The hot water calmed him down a little, but the bad feeling was still nested in his chest. He came out of the shower and wiped the steam off the mirror. Without makeup and with his hair down like this, he looked so much younger. He looked tired as well. He put on his comfiest jogging pants and a tank top and went to lie in bed.

His brain wouldn’t shut up though, so he decided to try and read that book he put away for so long in order to distract himself enough to be able to sleep. After wrapping himself in a blanket and flopping down on the sofa, he opened the book.

Half an hour later and having re-read the same paragraph over and over again, Magnus gave up. He grabbed the blanket and held it around him to keep warm and walked over to the bedroom. He might not fall asleep, but maybe he could rest?

 

“Magnus?”

 

He froze in this steps, stunned by the sudden appearance of the voice.

Magnus turned around to see Alec standing in his living room.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He yelled, sounding more rude than he intended.

He saw Alec flinch and slump his shoulders.

“That came out wrong, I’m sorry. You just startled me.” He said softly. “But my question remains. Why are you here?”

“I was worried about you after your text, so I came over to make sure you were alright. I used the key you gave me.” Alec looked down. “I hope that’s okay?”

Magnus opened his mouth, ready to brush it all off and send Alec back home, but why would he. Alec, sweet, caring Alexander, had just come all the way over because he sensed something was wrong from a _text_.

Magnus realized his resolve had started breaking. Alec had charmed his way through the thick layer of concrete Magnus had pulled up around his heart.

This realization, combined with the pent up feelings from the day he had, broke the façade he’d been so willing to keep up. It was all too much, too much stress, too much feelings, too much.

When Magnus stayed silent for so long, Alec looked up. Just in time to see the other man running towards him and catch him before they both tumbled to the floor. The impact of Magnus crashing into him made him take a step back. Unfortunately Magnus took that as a sign Alec didn’t want to hold him, so he quickly apologized.

“No, you just took me by surprise.” Alec reassured him. “Come here.”

Magnus’ lip trembled. He closed the distance between them and let himself be held in those strong, loving arms. He let all the feelings out at once. He cried and sobbed and sniffled so much he was shaking. He didn’t even care about how he looked, right now he just needed to let it all out. Alec came over for him. Alec came over because he was _worried_ about him.

Magnus felt Alec stroke his back soothingly. “I’m here. I’ll always be here. I’ve got you.”

 

When Magnus cried out all the tears he had, he felt too exhausted to stand up. Alec felt him slump down and grabbed his legs to carry him bridal-style to the couch. Magnus’ heart jumped up in his chest. After sitting down and putting Magnus’ head in his lap, Alec asked him if he wanted to watch a movie. Magnus nodded and told him he should choose because he was too tired to think.

Out of all movies that existed, Alec chose _Ice Age._ Ice Age! When Magnus asked why, Alec responded with “well I’ve never seen this movie and I heard it was funny so maybe we can watch it together?” and who was Magnus to deny him that happiness. He had seen the movie before, but Alec looked so excited about it that he decided not to tell him.

Alec’s fingers twisted through his hair, tugging at the strands and massaging his head. Magnus hadn’t even needed to ask. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the soft touches.

“Aren’t we supposed to watch this?” Alec whispered with a fond look in his eyes.

“I’ve already seen it.” Magnus blurted out without thinking.

Alec threw him an offended look. “You lied to me?”

“N-No. I just-”

Alec’s chuckles interrupted him. “Relax, sweetheart, I’m messing with you.” He buried his nose in Magnus’ hair. He said something else but Magnus couldn’t hear anything other than muffled sounds.

“I can’t hear you like this, Alexander.”  

“I said that I already saw this movie as well.”

“So we both lied?”

Magnus looked up at Alec and as soon as their eyes met, they burst out laughing.

“Want to watch something else?”

“No, this is fine. It’s white noise. I don’t have to concentrate.” Magnus reasoned.

“Besides, I’m way too comfortable to grab the remote and change the movie.”

“I could grab it.” Alec offered.

Magnus threw Alec a stern look. “Don’t you _dare_ move.”

Alec chuckled until he saw the expression on Magnus’ face. “Oh! You’re serious! Okay.” He bent down to press a kiss to Magnus’ head and continued to play with his hair.

Not ten minutes later and Magnus had dozed off. Body exhausted from the long day, mind finally able to rest when he was lying in Alec’s lap.

 

He startled when Alec picked him up to carry him to the bedroom. He felt Alec slowly set him on the bed, careful not to wake him, not knowing he was already awake but too tired to open his eyes. He felt Alec’s lips press to his forehead. He fully expected him to leave, but Alec sat down on the bed instead, hand stroking over his hair once again. “You’re beautiful.”

The words were so quiet, Magnus wasn’t sure if they were real or a dream. Once the meaning of them sunk in, Magnus decided they couldn’t have been real. He was asleep for sure. Which is also why he stirred when he felt Alec get up from the bed. He hadn’t expected dream-Alec to get up so abruptly.

“Are you awake?” Oh. So maybe it wasn’t a dream after all. “Is it okay if I stay here tonight? I don’t want to leave you alone.” Dream-Alec that was apparently real-Alec continued.

Magnus hummed, so close to the brink of sleep, it was all he could do to let Alec know.

Alec quickly rid himself of his jeans and shirt and joined Magnus in the bed. He snuggled up to him and took him in his arms.

“Thank you for trusting me tonight.” He whispered.

Magnus was too far off to answer by then. Right before the comfortable darkness of sleep pulled him in, one more thought formed into his head. _I love you._

 

* * *

 

He hadn’t heard from Alec since they had breakfast the morning after _that_ night. That morning had been awkward too. Alec had gotten up before him, so Magnus woke up alone, thinking he had left without saying anything. He was sulking in bed until Alec came back with coffee and a bagel for both of them. They ate breakfast in silence.

Magnus didn’t know if he should thank Alec for the night before and he still felt vulnerable for showing himself like that. Besides, Alexander didn’t seem very comfortable around him either.

The sudden epiphany Magnus had and the tension that it caused didn’t really help to make the conversation flow. Magnus must admit that “epiphany” was a little exaggerated. He had slowly been falling for the man that was so confident, but never arrogant. The man that took care of him, not only during sex, but also during break-downs apparently. He’d noticed the signs, but he had never wanted to admit it to himself. Until that night. Until _Ice Age_ for fuck’s sake.

That explained Magnus’ unease, but not Alec’s. Magnus had no idea why Alec was acting so weird. He was too busy trying to keep himself in check to notice it the morning itself, but now, a couple of days later, the weirdness of Alec’s behavior finally sunk in.

Not hearing from Alec messed with his entire day. There were so many times where he thought of something Alec would find funny and he picked up his phone, only to put it down again when he remembered. It made it nearly impossible to concentrate.

And Magnus missed him. He was so sick of this awkwardness between them. He wanted them to talk every day. He wanted to send and receive silly messages. He wanted to be held, to be kissed, to be _loved_.

 _I’m going to tell him._ Magnus decided, hoping that would clear things up between them. He owed it to Alexander and he had a good feeling about this. After every tiny development between them, Magnus almost dared to believe he wouldn’t be alone in this. Maybe Alec felt the same way. He reached for his phone...

… and almost jumped out of his bones when the door opened and slammed against the wall. Frozen on the spot, scared someone had broken in, he turned around to face the uninvited visitor.

“Alexander!” He exclaimed. “You should really stop barging in like that! You scared me!”

Magnus laughed.

When Alec didn’t say anything, but just looked at him strangely, Magnus stood up and started talking. Too nervous to look Alec in the eye, he studied his feet.

“I was just about to call you and ask you to come over actually. There was something I needed to-”

He didn’t get to finish that sentence when Alec slammed his lips against his. Magnus moaned when he felt Alec’s tongue seeking entrance in his mouth.  He tried to clear his head and broke the kiss.

“Alexander, what’s this all about? I mean, I’m not complaining, but-”

Alec buried his face in Magnus’ neck and nipped at it. He left a trail of kisses upwards, took Magnus’ earlobe between his teeth and pulled.

“Alexander, I need to-”

“Shh, I just need a moment. Fuck and leave.” Alec pushed Magnus on the couch and slid to his knees. He quickly made work of Magnus’ pants.

“Ale- Oh yessss.” Magnus’ brain short-circuited when he felt Alec’s lips around him.

 

* * *

 

Magnus fell asleep feeling utterly satisfied. It wasn’t what he had planned for the night, but damn was he glad it turned out that way.  He would talk to Alec in the morning.

Except when he woke up, he didn’t feel Alec’s chest under him. That  was weird. “Alexander?” He spoke into the empty darkness of the room.

He heard a curse from the other side of the room. So Alec wasn’t gone then.

“Wh- where are you going?” Magnus asked, still half asleep.

“Nowhere, just go back to sleep.” He heard Alec whisper.

“Hm okay” He closed his eyes and was just about to slip back into unconsciousness when he realized. His eyes snapped open.

 

“Are you sneaking out?” He tried and failed to keep the desperation out of his voice.

He heard Alec sigh, but no words left his lips.

"Answer me, Alec!" After another sigh and a moment of silence later, he heard Alec shuffling back toward the bed.

"Yes, I was."

“Why?” he was fully awake now, confused as to why Alec would want to leave after the amazing night they just had.

“I said fuck and leave didn’t I?” Alec appeared distant.

“Wait what? You actually meant that? I thought you’d stay the night and leave after breakfast.”

Alec sat back down on the bed. “Magnus…”

“But- Y-You were just going to leave without telling me?” He didn’t understand.

“It’s for the best, believe me.” Alec said softly.

“Why would you do that?” Magnus sat up.

Alec muttered something, but Magnus didn’t quite get it. He asked Alec to repeat himself.

“We can’t do this anymore.” Alec repeated.

“What? Why? What are you talking about? Alexander…” Magnus stopped when he saw Alec flinch when he said his name.

Realization started to kick in. “Are you telling me that you want to break off the arrangement we have?”

Alec kept quiet. Magnus was just about to push him to demand an answer when he heard him whisper. “It’s the only logical option.”

 

All sorts of questions jumped up in his head right then. Why did Alec want to stop this so suddenly? Why didn’t he say anything before? Was he going to leave and then send Magnus a text? Was he really that cruel?

“So you thought it was a good idea to come over and fuck me, then sneak out without confronting me and then probably avoiding me until it wasn’t an issue anymore? Is that really what you were going to do?”

He saw Alec starting to get defensive. He didn’t let him speak.

“You just wanted to fuck me over one last time, isn’t it? I just don’t get why you would _leave_ like that. We could have had a civil conversation. You could have showed some respect. We’re supposed to be friends!”

Alec jumped up from the bed  “That’s just _it_ , Magnus.”

He rubbed his hand across his face. Sighed. “This- this situation, this friends with benefits thing we’ve got going on here.” He paused. “It only works when it’s just that. Friends.”

_Oh no._

 

“What are you trying to say?” Magnus asked, a hint of fear showing in his voice.

“That’s not what this is anymore, Magnus.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Do you really want me to spell it out for you?”

“Yes, enlighten me, please. Stop being so damn cryptic and tell me why this doesn’t work.”

“I didn’t think you’d be that cruel.” Alec muttered. “When one of the friends develops feelings for the other, the friends with benefits arrangement does. Not. Work. Anymore.” He stated angrily.

Silence filled the room. They stared at each other. Magnus felt every emotion go through him right then. Fear, confusion, anger, frustration. He quickly composed a mask and hardened his voice.

“When did you find out?” He asked sharply.

“I- Magnus, please don’t. Don’t make it harder than it already is.”

“You owe me an explanation.”

“Fine. I wondered for a while, but I knew for sure last week. When I came over and we watched that movie.” Alec admitted.

Oh. Had he been _that_ obvious? He thought he had hid it pretty well.

“I should go.” Alec interrupted his train of thought.

He grabbed his jacket, shoes and phone and got out of Magnus’ bedroom.

 

He was just about to leave the loft when Magnus came into the living room and called out to him.

“Alec wait.”

Alec turned around and Magnus was momentarily confused by the hopeful expression on his face.

“Your key.” He clarified.

 

* * *

 

After the man he fell in love with walked out, Magnus slumped down against the door.

Even if Alec didn’t feel the same, couldn’t he have made that clear in a less painful way.

Leaving like that and saying those things, that was just harsh. It was mean and cruel. Magnus couldn’t believe he fell in love with a man that would treat him like that. How stupid. He really thought he deserved to have love in his live. He was so sure that maybe they’d work out, maybe he finally had a chance at love. It had all blown up in his face.

But he didn’t cry. He felt too broken to cry. He felt numb.

 

He must have sat there for fifteen minutes when he heard tiny footsteps approaching him. When the Chairman wrapped his tail around his leg, as if he felt his pain and wanted to comfort him, one lonely tear escaped Magnus’ eye. He allowed that one to roll down his cheek. Let it fall to the ground and watched it. He wouldn’t cry anymore, he promised himself.

 

* * *

 

Magnus offered to swap movie night for drinks at a bar the next Friday. He didn’t want to be in the loft anymore. Too many memories of Alec. Luckily, Maia had immediately agreed because she wanted to do something for her girlfriend - or more specifically her girlfriend’s brother - and that required them going out.

They all met up at the loft anyway, so that they could leave together. After everyone arrived, Maia told everyone the plan for the night.

 

“So, Becky asked me to invite you all to her brother’s gig.” She said.

“All of us?” Catarina asked.

“Yeah, apparently Simon has like two friends. Becky felt bad for him and because I’m a supportive girlfriend, you are all coming with me.”

 

Raphael frowned. “I don’t see how me tagging along to listen to some mediocre music is equal to you being a good girlfriend.”

“I’m helping Becky to help Simon get a social life. I care because she cares. You guys coming along means I can show her that I care, aka, I’m a good girlfriend.”

She was met with a glare.

“Oh come on, please?”

“No, take Magnus instead, he actually likes these things.” Raphael answered.

Maia looked at Magnus.

 

He didn’t want them to pity him, so he decided not to tell them about what happened. Most of them didn’t even know Alec existed anyway. Only Cat and Maia did and he hadn’t exactly told them they hooked up more than once.

“Of course I’m coming along. Who do you think I am?” He said with the most unaffected voice he could manage. He knew Cat would see right through him though, so he avoided her gaze.

“Great! Who else is coming with me?” Maia looked the others in the eye. They all agreed to come.

 

“Now, Raphael, are you _sure_ you don’t want to come with us?” Maia tried again while unlocking her phone and looking through her pictures. Raphael eyed her suspiciously. “Yes, I’m sure, why would you-”

Maia shut him up by practically shoving the phone in his face. “You were saying?” She teased.

“Oh. Yes, um. Maybe I’ll go with you guys to support you. I’m a good friend after all.”

Now what was _that_ all about? Magnus took Maia aside when they left the loft and walked to the Hunter’s Moon. Apparently she had shown him a photo of Simon, who she knew was exactly his type, so of course that’s what convinced Raphael to come along.

 

None of them expected the giant crowd at the bar when they arrived. Apparently Simon was more popular than both Maia and Becky had anticipated. Luckily, Becky had arrived early and she had reserved a booth for them. As they made their way through the crowd, Magnus’ thoughts from before were confirmed. It was indeed a good idea to tag along.

“There she is!” Maia shouted over the murmurs and lead the rest of the group toward Becky. When they got there she pecked her on the lips. “Hey babe.”

Becky never failed to blush at the affection Maia gave her. She deserved it. They both did. They were so cute together and Magnus was glad his friend found her happiness.

Becky turned to the rest of the group. “You’re kind of, sort of, a little late.” She hesitantly said, as if she was trying not to offend them.

Cat quickly jumped in to reassure her. “We know, that’s because grumpy cat over here,” she pointed at Raphael, “took so long to agree coming along!”

“Oh! Well, I’m really glad you’re here!” Becky smiled at him. “What I meant to say: Simon has already gone backstage. He’s getting ready ‘cause he performs in ten minutes.”

 

Raphael mumbled something none of them really understood, except for Maia, who tried to suppress her giggles.

“Okay!” She said. “Time for drinks!”

She asked what everyone wanted and Magnus offered to go with her to help carry the drinks.

They quickly ordered and made their way back, hoping they’d be there before the performance started. They had just handed everyone their drinks and sat down when the lights dimmed and a spotlight focused on the stage. A guy holding a guitar - that must be Simon - came out and settled in front of the mic. He greeted the audience.

“He’s even prettier in real life.” Magnus heard Raphael grumble silently.

 

Magnus couldn’t help but burst out laughing, he had not expected Raphael to ever say something like that. His outburst attracted a lot of attention apparently, because the crowd had just quieted down in anticipation of Simon’s first song.

Normally, Magnus wouldn’t care about the many eyes that focused on him. But from the other side of the room, close to the stage, two bright hazels stood out. _Fuck_ . _He_ was here.

His laughter died down as he stared into the eyes he’d grown so familiar with, yet didn’t know at all. Why did he have to be here. Magnus was here in order to forget him, not be confronted with him all over again. He made it clear enough he didn’t want Magnus in his life anymore. Magnus refused to break eye-contact.

He would be strong. He could handle this. He would not. Look. Down. Alec turned away his gaze. Why didn’t that feel as much as a victory Magnus had thought it would?

He shook the thoughts out of his head and turned back to his friends. They were all looking at him as if they’d sensed his change of mood. “What?” He bit out.

 

“What were you staring at so intensely? We’ve all heard the expression ‘if looks could kill’, but damn I wouldn’t want to be on the other side of that one.” Maia tried to lift his spirits.

“Oh I know!” Becky supplied, “That’s Alec! Half of Simon’s friend group.” She smiled, obviously mistaking Magnus' intense look for one of interest. “I could introduce you to him if you want?”

 

Magnus tried to keep a smile on his face. When he said nothing in response, everyone’s confused expressions turned into worried ones. His resolve to seem fine crumbled to pieces under the pressure of their stares. Tears welled up in his eyes. His lip trembled. The eyes on him went wide and that was it. Magnus broke down in sobs, hands reaching for someone to hug him. Gripping at the shirt of Cat - the first person there - he let it all out. He cried and sobbed until his throat was hoarse.

Catarina subtly told the others she would take care of Magnus as she helped him out of the booth to lead him outside.

 

* * *

 

“Magnus wait!” A voice yelled from behind them. Magnus flinched and walked faster, dragging a confused Cat along with him.

“Was that- ”

“Yes. Now _move_.” Cat must have caught the desperation in his voice, because she moved a lot faster after that.

“Magnuuuuuuussssss”, Alec shouted, trying to keep up with them, but being held back by the crowd between them. “You need to listen to me!” He sounded way too drunk for Magnus’ taste.

They were close to the exit when Cat stopped him and held onto his arm when he tried to leave again. She sighed.

“Look, I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but you’ve been acting off the entire night. Maybe it’ll be good for you to talk to him.”

Damn it. Why was she always so smart and reasonable. “Fine.” He surrendered to her logic. “I’ll talk to him.” Cat looked relieved.

“Do you want me to stay to keep an eye on you, or…” She trailed off.

Magnus reassured her. “No, I’ll be okay. You go back to the rest and enjoy the concert.”

 

She nodded and Magnus watched her go back to their friends. She shot Alec a look of warning when she passed him. Before Alec could reach him, Magnus turned around and walked out the door. It was better if they did this outside. He couldn’t promise he wouldn’t yell at Alec and he didn’t want to ruin the joyous atmosphere in the room.

He waited until he heard Alec come outside as well and then walked towards the alley next to the bar. Alec got the message and followed him. He stopped a couple of steps behind him. Magnus rubbed his hand across his face and mentally prepared himself for the conversation.

 

He reluctantly turned around. “What is it Alec?” he said with an exhausted sigh.

“I love you!

What the- No.

That couldn’t be right. Why would he- When Magnus didn’t say anything, Alec continued.

“With my whole-ass heart. Ha! Ass-heart! Yes. That too. My whole ass-heart loves you too. But you knew that of course” Alec winked.

Ah. That was it. Alec was drunk and didn’t know what he was saying. He probably just wanted to get him back in his bed. Magnus needed to get out of there.

“Alec, I-”

“I don’t like it when you call me that.”

So now he was making demands? Magnus started to get angry. “I can’t do this right now. Not when you’re drunk and I’m angry. Please just- Please leave.”

He sighed when Alec didn’t move and went to walk past him to get in a cab and go home. Alec stood in front of him and grabbed his arms, effectively stopping him from going away.

“Please, let me explain.” He shook his head, as if to get his words in order. “I recognize that I’m too drunk right now, but please let me explain.”

He really wouldn’t let this go, would he? Magnus closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine. We’ll talk tomorrow. Goodbye Alexan- Alec.”

 

“No!” Magnus jumped from the sudden exclamation.

“What the hell do you want now?”

“Don’t go. You’re not gonna let me in tomorrow, I know you.”

No he didn’t.

“I do know you, Magnus.” Alec said as if he’d read his mind.

“Look, just- Just let me come with you.” He put his hand over Magnus’ mouth who was just about sputter out his complaints. “I won’t do anything! I’ll even sleep on the couch! Just please don’t leave me alone. I can’t handle that. I can’t be without you another night. Please, Magnus?” He dropped his hand and released Magnus’ arm.

 

Magnus surprised the both of them when he agreed.

 

* * *

 

Magnus had never slept so badly in his entire life. They arrived at the loft around midnight and Magnus gave Alec a blanket and a pillow and went into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. His mind kept him awake with all sorts of scenarios for the conversation they would have the following morning. Alec didn’t have that problem apparently, as Magnus could hear his snores through the door.

He had seen all the hours on the clock until 6 am and then fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. He woke up not two hours later, anxiety ruining any other chances at getting more rest.

He got up from the bed and opened his bedroom door as quietly as possible. Alec was still sleeping.

Magnus tried not to think about how cute he looked, clutching the blanket to his chest as if it was his most valuable treasure. _He used to hold me like that._ No. Stop. He couldn’t think like that. He quickly made his way to the bathroom to shower and put on his makeup. Alec may have seen him without it before, but Magnus needed the sense of safety. He needed to look powerful even if he felt anything but.

When Magnus came out of the bathroom, he knew he looked like a king. He went to grab some aspirin for Alec, who would no doubt have a hangover when he woke up. He placed the glass on the coffee table next to the sofa, hard enough to wake the man that was sleeping in it.

 

Alec immediately sat up, looking around, confused of his whereabouts, before his eyes settled on Magnus. “Hey.” His voice was still gruff from sleeping. He cleared his throat. “Good morning.”

“Drink up.” Magnus ignored him and pointed at the glass of water.

“Oh. Thank you.” Alec gulped down the water, swallowing the pills next to it, almost choking in his haste. He put the glass back down and stared at it.

“Well?” Magnus encouraged him to talk.

“Can you please be a little more open to this conversation? I know I have no right to ask for anything, but can we handle this as decent adults?”

Magnus realized how childish he had been acting, Alec was right, they should talk like the adults they were. Magnus sat down next to Alec, turning toward him. “Okay. Explain yourself please, because I don’t understand any of what happened.”

Guilt took over Alec’s features. He looked down at his hands.

“Look. I fucked up. God, I fucked up so badly. I never should have done what I did that night. It’s just- After you broke down like that and trusted me to take care of you I just realized that-”

He cut himself off. Shook his head.

 

“And then I didn’t know how to act or what to say, and things were so awkward between us and I didn’t know what to do, because I thought you had figured it out and didn’t want to see me anymore.”

Alec must have realized how cryptic that sounded, when Magnus wanted to interrupt him. He held up his hand to stop him and continued to explain.

“I thought going back to the way we were _before_ would show you that I wasn’t- That I didn’t-” He groaned. “God this is hard.”

 

“And then you woke up and confronted me with how stupid I was being and then I _told_ you, but I wasn’t clear enough, because you thought I broke it off because of _your_ feelings, didn’t you?”

Magnus couldn’t do anything other than sit there, dumbfoundedly, and stare.

“I realized later how much of an asshole I had been, but what meant to say back then, came out so fucking wrong. I simply wanted to tell you that-”

Alec swallowed. He stayed silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Magnus saw the determination in his eyes, it seemed like he had made up his mind. He licked his lips.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Alec braced himself, finally looking Magnus in the eye, “I’m sorry. And I love you.”

 

Magnus was stunned. Every possible thought running through his head and leaving again, words forming sentences and then when he opened his mouth to say them, dissolving before he could. His mind went blank. Alec _loved_ him?

Every little bit of his explanation started to sink in. It made sense.

 

“I won’t deny that you hurt me, because you did. But you apologized and it seems genuine-”

“It is!” Alec interrupted, quickly shutting up when he saw the way Magnus looked at him.

Magnus continued. “As I was saying,” The corners of his mouth rose up to form a smile, “I forgive you. And I understand now.”

 

Alec reciprocated the smile. “Can I kiss you?” He asked hesitantly.

Magnus nodded and that was it. No more limitations. No more holding back. Alec’s lips crashed against his and Magnus lost himself in the kiss. It wasn’t the most elegant one they had had, both of them smiling too much to kiss properly.

After what felt like hours, but could only have been minutes, Magnus broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Alec’s. “Say it again.” He whispered.

Of course, Alec immediately knew what he meant. He pecked Magnus on the lips one more time before speaking up, voice laden with emotion.

 

“I love you, sweetheart.”

 

“I love you too, Alexander.”

 

 

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [Expectations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHXdA-ZkEsw) by Lauren Jauregui. It was one hell of an experience to write this, but I'm so happy I did. I hope you all enjoyed it. Yell at me all you want in the comments or on [Tumblr](https://magnuslightwoodalecbane.tumblr.com/). Love, Sam.


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